Body in Situ

Eyes flit from side to side; fists rounded not quite clenched, feet folded, lying down. Breath quickening, lips pursed eyebrows frown, coughs, lifts hands to mouth. I wondered whether he was just interested in sleeping with her or whether he was in love with her. Mouth open, slight smile…or grimace. Bad things are going to happen. Arm near pelvis, still clenched a little more tightly. Presses button. Gets up, moving quickly, twisting body, answers phone. Hi Papa. Hello? Not yet no I haven’t had a chance. Lips rise to mouth, voice slightly muffled, playing with lips. Elbows bent against chest. Yeah papa I have an appointment with the doctor on the 21st it was the soonest that was available. The soonest that was available. He’s very good. Bites fingers. It’s covered, I think. Yeah, I know. Um no just still looking for jobs. Plays with lips, fingers grazing against skin, pushes hair behind ear, eyes read across, flitting. Looks towards fingers inspects them, slight smile. Really absolutely nothing, nothing interesting. Long hair falling across shoulders, enshrouding bare arms. Oh yeah sorry, I’ll do that. Will do. Very warm, quite hot actually, it’s probably like 71 degrees. Have you been getting out swimming? Ok I love you Papa. Puts down phone. Readjusts body, lying along bed arms by sides bent, knees bent. Fists clenched against belly. Eyes blinking. Breathing in, out, in, out. In out, fast, shallow. Computer rises with each breath. Face sullen almost, relaxed. Eyes move downwards, flitting across. Licks lips, catches me staring, grimaces, laughs, eyes crease, wrinkling. He’s so- . Hand folds over bent at the wrist. Coughs, laughs, chest tightens. Coughs, raising hand to mouth in loose ball. Cheeks heavy, gentle. Mouth open, small opening, light heavy breathing. Hands open on thighs fingers spread against the thigh. What is he implying- he likes the hunt or just the chase? Lips close, peel open again. Right eyebrow slight tension, now upwards arched in an angle across the brow. Eyes moving in small circular motions. Breath begins in belly, chest enlarging. NO! What? Face contorts, mouth pursed open in circular o shape, eyebrows heavy laden, wrinkles appear between them, eyes narrow, lips turn downwards. Hand clenches about computer. Knees together. Feet held parallel to one another. Coughs, rising curled hand to mouth. Eyes flicker to the side, now downward along a diagonal. I’ve got to re-download it. Damn it. Eyes move along screen horizontally. Swallows, chin pushed up against neck, slight lap of skin. Creases at the neck deepen. Mouth tightened on one side of face. There must be a great twist at the end of this movie that makes you look over so often. Crosses legs over one another. Foot rests in the air. Scrunches face. Hmm. Moves legs down, placing right leg over left, lying down along the bed. Big toe of right foot jitters. Stops jittering. Small toes of rest of right foot twitch rhythmically. Coughs, takes lips to mouth touching. Fingers slide along mouse pad. Dabbing. Swish from side to side. Breathes, chest rising upwards, Strokes against mouse pad. Circular motions. Small toes twitch. Once, again, again, again. Types. Again, again, faster. Small toes of foot bend towards pad of foot, again, again, again. Whole foots moves down slightly. Fingers continue to glide along mouse pad. Single finger, index finger, rests on lips. Types. Places hand back on mouth. Index finger bent now, fingers gently curled under. Coughs, yawns, fingers remain in front of mouth. Feet twitch. Toes bend. Again. Hand moves through hair, fingers separating strands. Arm moves beneath body, scratches at lower back. Right hand moves from mouse pad, touches lips. Index finger picks at lips. Moves back to keyboard. Left arm lies clenched at side of hip. Thumb lies over fingers curled under. Deep breath, chest rises, fuller than ordinary, breathes, coughs, deep and more than just throaty, deeply from the inner chest. Deep rasping sound emerges. Eyes flit from one side of socket to the other, gazing toward the screen. Toes of right foot continue to twitch under. Big toe of left foot joins them in rhythmic dance. While right foot bends, left big toe moves from side to side. Breathing heavily through nose. Takes in deep breath, stops for briefest movement. Coughs. Finger returns to lip, right-hand index finger is bent. Grazes against skin. Smiles, high pitched heeeh. Gazes back towards screen. Face contorts, eyebrows rise. Eyes creased below the eyes. Hand holds computer moving it further towards upper chest. Hands return back to sides. Fingers of left hands clenched. Huh. Fingers clench and knock against side. Hands move outwards quickly rising beside either side of thighs, held up off the bed. Damn it why is this not working. Scratches pelvis. Deep breath. Cough. Finger beneath nose. Fingers stroking along mouse pad. Thumb clicks button. Index finger soothes along lower lip. Hand curled and lightly clenched by mouth. Eyes flit from side to side. I noticed it a while ago, a couple of weeks ago before we left. Fingers graze along mouse pad. Fingers outstretch, typing. Finger returns to lips. Fingers of right hand move along pad. Index finger moves into open mouth. Bites down upon nail tip. Left big toe smoothes along side of right foot. Up and down. Up and down. Finger remains in mouth slowly moving between teeth and then out once more. Nail tip now firmly placed between teeth. Fingers glide along mouse pad. Toe twitches against left foot. Finger moves quickly over upper lip into mouth and over lower lip. Moves down resting upon breastbone. Left hand returns to hip, clenched. Right hand raised index finger touching lip. Lips twitch upwards at the side of the mouth. Finger traces along lip. Removes hand from move, placing finger outstretched on hip just about thigh. Mouth still slightly open. Fingers twitching slightly. Hands of right hand fingers move in order, twitching very briefly. Then thumb of left hand twitches. Slightly furrowed brow. Staggered breath as computer lies across chest. Eyes lower, lids lower further across eyeball. Blinking frequently. Swallows and eyes widen, mouth opens and closes. Chest rises and falls. Eyes narrow, lids coming lower. Mouth tucks in, sucking lower lip under. Cheeks purse, drawn inwards by suction. Eyes widen fully. Runs off with the little sister. Eyes blink. Foot twitches, lower left foot big toe sliding against right toes. Eyes flit across screen. Hands remain at hips. Lower Lip fluctuates, pulled taut then released. Eyes move circular. Blinking. Mouth open slightly. Creases between eyebrows. Blinks slowly, heavily. Blinks again. Shoulders lower. Licks lips. Lips pursed together, mouth remains slightly open. Lifts hand to hair, stroking. Hand returns back to side. Big toe twitches. Left big toe twitches against right small toes as they twitch.