absense makes the parts go wonder

Where did you or rather I go when you leave? When I take flight on wings of angels or was it eagles whose ruddy feathers fall ashen in the too close sun. She said not to look at it. I did. I looked for far too long. I think that is when you came, when the slink of it caught at the rim, right on the reaches of sight, I went away, or rather they did. They melted and I went away with you, or you came towards me, I forget now whose was who’s. I know that there was no thinking then, when you went away and I arrived, when departure set in. Yet sometimes I look back to that empty shape and wonder what things I filled it with, what happened when we slipped past one another, tips sliding, skirts flapping as they vanished just around the corner. I wonder what you did with our time, my space.

Sometimes when I come back you don’t know if I am even mine or if I had been left with what is yours. The body feels old and used up, as though I were stepping between bowling shoes. I worry that you had more than me, that they loved you more freely, no strings attached. Even our neck smells different inside those nostrils. He once told me that he hated you and I cried because he asked me to say goodbye. How could we let us go? I wandered for a while then, I don’t know where you went. When I look back I only see a haziness, a furry depth that I strive to prick- but once I look too hard twice we’re gone and with you all the memories fall. They fail. I try to steal a glance my way whilst you fade in and out through shades just catching along the rim, right there . in the slink of it all.